I'm crap at quite a few things.
I'm crap at most things actually. For the record, I'm not crap if you need help lifting heavy things. I'm not crap if you're looking for overly precious alliteration. But outside of those two fairly narrow skill sets, I'm crap.
I'm a crap surfer too. But I'm not even a good crap surfer. Bill Bankes-Jones, on the other hand, is the world champion of crap surfing. This is his story.